{"title":"Start Here, Hellion","description":"\u003cp\u003eNew here? Start with the pieces most likely to make someone laugh, organize the evidence, or realize they have finally found their people. 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Free U.S. shipping on orders $45+; shipping is calculated at checkout below $45.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satire Stationery","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48963506700520,"sku":"SS-NB-WTD-79","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/2876\/1320\/files\/WriteThatDownFrontstore.jpg?v=1788133177"},{"product_id":"everything-is-fine-funny-spiral-notebook-handmade-7x9-journal-sarcastic-coworker-gift-100-page-notebook","title":"Everything Is Fine Notebook","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e(Narrator: It was not fine.)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor meetings that should have been emails, plans held together by optimism and caffeine, and those special little moments when everything is visibly on fire but apparently we're carrying on.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEverything Is Fine is a handmade 7×9 spiral notebook with an original vintage-inspired cover and 100 glorious pages on which to document the situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDetails\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e7 × 9 inches\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50 sheets \/ 100 writing pages\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium 32 lb interior paper\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRigid 50pt book-board front and back covers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCotton canvas wrap with the artwork printed directly on the fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSquare-punched gold metal double-loop wire binding\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGold metal corner protectors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOriginal Satire Stationery design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for work notes, journaling, plotting your escape, documenting evidence, or gifting to the person who responds to catastrophe with, “It's fine.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003chr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade to order in Palm Bay, Florida.\u003c\/strong\u003e Most standard orders ship within 2 business days. 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Free U.S. shipping on orders $45+; shipping is calculated at checkout below $45.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Satire Stationery","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48963546317032,"sku":"SS-NP-AS-1055","price":10.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/2876\/1320\/files\/787178755_899038886619489_1639801524778485158_n.jpg?v=1788136409"},{"product_id":"custom-notebook-apparently-you-need-your-own","title":"Custom Notebook — Apparently You Need Your Own","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome people can buy a normal notebook off a shelf and move on with their lives.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou are apparently not some people.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGive me your favorite things, colors, hobbies, pets, tattoos, caffeine dependency, inside jokes, and whatever collection of nonsense makes you \u003cem\u003eyou\u003c\/em\u003e. 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One round of reasonable revisions is included.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOnce you approve it, I print, build, bind, and ship the finished notebook.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003ch3\u003eStarting-price details\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e7 × 9.25 inches\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRigid 50pt book-board front and back covers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCotton canvas wrap with the artwork printed directly on the fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSquare-punched metal double-loop wire binding\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50 sheets \/ 100 lined writing pages on heavyweight 32 lb paper\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOriginal cover designed individually for you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe listed price is the starting price for this format. If your idea needs a different size, specialty interior, or unusually elaborate design work, I will quote the difference before proceeding. No ambush invoices. 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Ridiculously expensive.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Jingle All the Way\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e  “Apparently nobody likes a half-assed jingler. 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